Being Wise or a Wiseguy by Giulietta Passarelli
Marriage can be and is a beautiful way to live. It’s a choice, and it doesn’t matter if you chose not to have a partner or if you didn’t find anyone that shared your feelings, common interests, or dreams. It’s okay because relationships come in many different packages, whether it’s a friendship, a partnership, or a family relationship. They are the door to sharing a person’s life, their company, their feelings, and all that goes with sharing, like halving a piece of pie together. It’s wonderful in that way, being present in a person’s life. Yet, as you know, relationships are work and tend to be harder than they are supposed to be, or you’d expect. There seems to always be surprises from a lack of communication or contact or just plain, “Surprise!”
For those of you that are in the throes of a partnered relationship or maybe one where you are divorced or no longer together, you’ve probably learned many things or gained wisdom. Here I offer a few that come to mind about marriage – some from what I’ve learned myself and from others. You might know or have experienced some of these. If not, pay attention, because knowledge is power:
· Blood is thicker than water
· That it’s better to have a happy short marriage, than a long, drawn-out, unhappy one
· If your husband or wife answers they got married to have kids, then leave
· Make sure when you leave you don’t look back, and take the kids with you
· Don’t cry when your divorce is final, if you’ve spent many married years crying. Just celebrate it!
· Make sure you know what genuine is before you get married
· Better to be embarrassed then make a mistake
· Listen to the grumblings or sounds of your soul
· It takes two people to do it right
· If you tried marriage twice and it appears the second is starting to resemble the first one, you had to do it twice to learn a very important lesson; but three times? It’s said that the third’s a charm, but those that said that are under a spell, you know, like in charm?!
· Give in to your courage
· Choose your battles
· Hit below the belt, if someone’s pounding you into the ground
· Trust your instincts, the quietest of voices
· Follow your best advice
· Your happiness is very important
Last, but definitely not least, if you find that your partner continually puts the blame on you because of his or her arrogance or impatience, let alone immaturity, then when he or she leaves you, most certainly you should know that it’s not your fault, that he or she was looking for a way out, and that their issues are what caused the relationship to dissolve. And who knows, maybe all those issues, all those grumblings day in and out that solidified their passage out the door, was most likely because they had someone else on the side, though they will firmly deny it.
So, I can appreciate the struggles of my past years or my friends’, family’s, or acquaintances’ years if they were muddled, or I should say riddled, with irresponsible, irreparable, or ignoramus trials because I learned to be wiser and to be a wiseguy. And if my friends or family learned something and came out okay, I still wish it could have been different for them but support them and cheer for the knowledge they gained. You may forgive, but you never fuhgeddaboudit. It seeped into your soul reminding you what love isn’t. You paid your dues, you earned your stripes, your bumps, and maybe even bruises, so go out there and have a wonderful life. If the relationship is working, great. If not or it didn’t, living well is the best revenge (George Herbert, poet).
Please clap if you like this article. My writer’s website contains my bio and novel summaries, poems, newsletters, a blog, writing prompts, and author/book recommendations at: www.gpassarelli.com.